He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
She needs sedatives and a leash
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
