So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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