Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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