today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
