i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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