That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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