I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I'm always down for nudity.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
