Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize