One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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