I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Pappa wants mamma naked
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
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