Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
