so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Reggie can tackle my bush.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I have tasted many bathrooms
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
