i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
