he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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