is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
