I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
