I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize