I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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