I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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