You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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