Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
