I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
