well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Randomize
