I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
