got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
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If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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