she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
