Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
