was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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