i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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