We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
