I am puke
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
You need Xanax blowdarts
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
