It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
