how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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