at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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