the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
