Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Someone came in the potted fern
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
