READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize
