why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
