Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
4 words: hood of his car
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
