ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
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