I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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