Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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