If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize