hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
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