dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
