we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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