At least make sure they are 18
Why
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
