but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
