I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
