College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
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