At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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