I'm gonna have a badass scar
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Randomize
