He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
