Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
