His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
soo... how was my night?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
