I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
