:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
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the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize