I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
