3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
