What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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