the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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