I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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