I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
